FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING
MALE-BASHING JOKES
How many men does it take to open a
beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings
it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really
bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing
machine will probably never be able to support
you.
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Why do women have smaller feet
than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen
sink.
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How do you know when a woman
is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man
once told
me..."
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How do you fix a woman's
watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the
oven.
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If your dog is barking at the
back door, and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in
first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him
in.
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What's worse than a Male
Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's
told.
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I married Miss Right. I
just didn't know her first name was
Always.
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I haven't spoken to my wife
for 18 months:
I don't like to interrupt
her.
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Scientists have discovered a
food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding
Cake.
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Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring,
Suffering.
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Our last fight was my fault:
My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said,
"Dust!"
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In the beginning, God created
the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created
Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has
rested.
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Why do men die before their
wives?
They want
to.
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A beggar walked up to a
well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything
for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your
willpower."
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Young Son: "Is it true Dad, I
heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her?"
Dad: That happens in every country,
son.
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A man inserted an
advertisement in the classified:
Wife Wanted." The next day he received a
hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have
mine."
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The most effective way to
remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.
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Women will never be equal to
men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are beautiful.
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